Outings.

Today was an extended family occasion, family, family and more family. I don't really want to.. talk about the whole day as such, I mean it was nice to see people I hadn't seen in years and also the adorable little bubba.. but some things happened which kind of made me go "hmm.." and have a small internal freak out. 

Today, I told my aunt about a friend that will be coming to visit me in may, next year. Of course I used the terms loosely because I wasn't about to explain that I love this guy and that I hope to have an amazing future with him. A few times through out the day he was brought up in conversation for various different reasons but my sister mentioned something and it was almost what i'd classify things that SHOULD NEVER be said around family, especially if things aren't final and no one even knows.

It's like she magically forgets that no one knows he and I are actually together and we are just supposed to be 'friends' for the mean while. I wish I could remember what she said exactly but it had something to do with the future and how things will end up.. this is a rant and i'm so disappointed that I can't even remember what I was grumpish at.

Derp Derp Derp. 

I don't even know, I don't tell people things because they cannot keep their mouthes shut, they cannot respect privacy, they cannot stop themselves from asking a million questions per day and this infuriates me. sometimes I just want to tell people things and get no questions and not have to live up to expectations of something that could go different or not exactly how people are expecting it to be. 

I hate when people have expectations of something that does not involve or bother them. At the moment, I almost have no expectations because in life you never know what may happen, I'd love for him to fly here, to spend two weeks with me, for him to hold me in his arms but it's possible it couldn't happen and that both may freak out or money may not be available. I'm hopeful, but not expecting a huge amount as this is why i get incredibly disappointed. I don't want to be disappointed, and if I avoid disappointment we'll all be happier in life. 

This being said, I am still very hopeful and cannot wait until it's booked because I have so much hope in this, this time and that it will all be.. beautifully perfect..

Until next time.

~P